Monday, 22 July 2013

The Good Guy

Why do they always say the good guy finishes last? Not in my book he doesn't. Doesn't every girl deserve to be treated right and have a guy love her completely, for all of her flaws as well as the beauty? You could say I'm a hopeless romantic. You would be right. I'm not saying I believe in Prince Charming and all that but I do believe in commitment and loyalty and affection. On the other hand, I'm a total commitment-phobe. How can I say I want to be with just one person for the foreseeable future? The thought of being someones everything scares me. I like the chase and dating and the excitement of seeing someone. But what if that goes away? Will you always be excited to see that one person? Despite my love of romance and devotion, I also want passion. I need to be attracted to someone not just by what they look like or how they are as a person, but sexually. I know that sounds strange or whatever, but if seeing that person doesn't make you want to get into bed with them, what's the point? I'm not saying that's the most important part of finding someone but it is key to me. And to those who say looks aren't important, they are the first thing that attracts you to a person so I'd say they are. So do I commit to one person or do I play the field? I hate that sometimes I can be both sides of the spectrum, it makes me question and worry about everything which isn't healthy.

I'm the girl who always goes for the wrong guy though. More often than not, I'm forced into choosing between two guys and I go for the guy who I think is best for me. This is genuinely true. No guy will come along for ages and then two will appear in the picture at the same time. Every time the one I choose turns out to be the nice guy who says all the right things and then it turns out he isn't such a nice guy after all. It's never one huge thing, it's usually a sequence of lots of little things: stories I hear about him from others, forgetting or cancelling dates, not seeing me at all. This also makes me a hypocrite. When I find the right guy who I plan to stay with, I find myself doing these things because I'm afraid to commit. I'll cancel plans because I'm too nervous to see them or I'll act all off with them because I'm too shy. Often this screws things up for me. The guy thinks I don't like him when in fact, it's quite the opposite. I've also got a tendency to think before I speak, sometimes I say things I don't mean because I'm in the heat of the moment. I might be mad at something else or hurt and I'll lash out (not physically, just verbally!).

I also have a fear of being seen out in public with a guy. I'm embarrassed of people looking at me, judging me or the guy, just generally people knowing my business. But then when we're behind closed doors, I'm besotted. Only twice have I ever felt comfortable with a guy to want to be seen out with him and one of them is my current squeeze (he knows who he is). When I'm with him, I forget about everything else going on in my life and solely focus on being in that moment. For someone who worries about everything, this is a hard task but when someone wants you and only you, it's hard not to just be there fully. When he looks at you like you are the only person he wants to be with, when he remembers all the little details you've only told him once, when he tells you he loves your body and shows you that he does, you get the picture. When you've got one of those guys, hold onto him before someone else whisks him away.

It's also okay to not have a type. I do. Taller than me (which isn't hard, I'm merely 5"2), athletic (i.e. plays a sport and/or goes to the gym regularly), usually dark-haired (what can I say, I like a brunette!), smart (I need to be able to hold a conversation with this guy), dresses well and looks good in a suit (that's obvious really), funny (although never funnier than me), a guy that gets along with his family, especially his mum (I'll want him to get along with my family too plus how a guy treats his mum should show an indication of how he'll treat you) and someone who can be both cute and sexy. I know guys hate being called cute but finding a guy who is both sweet and then has a cheeky side is probably the most important thing to me. But even if you don't have a type, just make sure you find the guy who treats you like a princess because we deserve it! Although don't forget, you need to treat your prince right or you won't be his princess no more!

So I say to hell with the stereotype that the good guy is boring and will never get the girl. The good guy knows how to treat a girl with the respect she deserves, he'll never leave her questioning his actions, he's dependable and trustworthy and most of all he won't break her heart.

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